Shopping raya & Metamorphosis

Assalamualaikum yo!

How you all doing? Sihat wal'afiat la semuanya ye? Nothing much to talk about other than the fact yang my weight had just increase tenfold tonight *sebab pergi convoy takbir raya dari rumah ke rumah, best experience ever! Dapat makan banyak pulak tu! ^^*

Ehem.

So, about that last entry that I did...I guess I sounded kinda angry while writing that eh? Ah, biasa la, dalam puasa macam ni, memang cepat melenting. I don't know why honestly..hoho. Let's just leave it like that shall we? 

Okay, let's talk about Raya esok ni instead. I've got a lot of things to talk about for this one! You see, raya tahun ni is the best one for me. Wanna know why? Sebab I'd got the chance to shop nonstop till I drop! *lol*

Haha yee, raya kali ni mak and ayah aku secara tiba-tiba mendapat hidayah untuk membawa aku and adik aku pergi bershoppping baju di tempat yang tak pernah aku jangka aku akan jejakkan kaki. KEDAI BAJU LELAKI. Ye la bhai, selama ni aku mana lepak tempat-tempat ni semua *Jusco, Parade dan mall-mall yang mempunyai kedai pakaian khusus untuk lelaki dan sebagainya*. Sebelum ni, every time nak raya, ayah aku akan kata "Okay, malam ni kita pegi depan Billion, cari baju raya kamu". Every single time, aku pulak takkan la nak complain, itu dasar anak tak bersyukur puihh! 

So ini dia bendanya yang aku beli!

*Straight jeans(sayang gile vavi)*

*Baju number 1!*

*Domo-kun~*

Senang cerita, raya kali ni aku memang borong baju sakan, hoho~ Korang pulak macamana? 

Okay yang tu dah habis, sekarang cerita lain pulak. Masa aku tengah browsing profile pictures aku, aku ternampak la muka aku masa mula-mula masuk Unisel *lebih kurang half a year ago*. I must say, memang lain gile vavi. Aku rasa memang banyak yang berubah, especially bila aku tengok album raya aku tahun lepas. Pejam celik-pejam celik dah setengah tahun aku jadi student universiti, and masuk kali ni, dah 2 kali aku sambut as a student, mahasiswa pulak tu. To top it off, I'm barely the same guy back then compared with now.

"KRONOLOGI PERUBAHAN STYLE AKU"

The beginning:

*zaman nerd (cermin mata besar)*

Masa ni, aku tak paham lagi keperluan bergaya ni. Tak masuk U pun lagi. Whenever my sisters ask me things regarding styles, fashion or whatnot, I'll just give them an IDGAF face.

Silly me..t-_-t

  *zaman awkward (universiti)*

Ya! Kejanggalan yang amat terserlah disitu...t-_-t.. Masa ni, aku baru masuk Unisel, tengok orang lain berstylo-stylo membuatkan aku berasa awkward terhadap diri sendiri. Ye lah, cuba tengok gaya aku dalam pic di atas...MAJOR AWKWARDNESS.

In progress:

*zaman muda mudi (aksesori)*

Masa ni pulak, aku dah ada kesedaran sikit nak bergaya semua bagai ni *cuma fulus je kurang and aku tak research baju apa yang sesuai dengan aku*. Perasankah anda akan band di pergelangan aku tersebut? Macam ni la rupa aku masa raya tahun lepas, hahah~

*zaman emo (wannabe)*

I tried growing my hair longer, and for a period of time, I was an unsuccessful emo guy. Sad, but kinda true..

*zaman messy (unsuccessful)*

Kali ni aku cuba simpan rambut panjang sikit, kusut masai, messy just so that I could try a skater style. Baju still kureng, and I end up cutting my hair since dahi aku sangat berminyak. Long hair+dahi berminyak=jerawat=no admirers.*fail maths FTW*

*zaman spike (kureng menjadi)*

Dengan dorongan kakak aku, finally I tried something I never done to my hair before, mencuba gaya spiky. In my case, tak menjadi sangat sebab rambut aku ni macam bulu beruang. Faham-faham je lah. By this time, I already feel comfortable wearing a t-shirt. Hoho.

Right now:

*zaman spikes with v-neck(hopeful)*

And this is how I look right now until this moment. Lain gila en? Even Guy said the same thing when he compared my old style and now. Aish, there's still room for improvement. Takpe, aku ni muda lagi, banyak masa untuk belajar bergaya lagi~Yipaaa~ ^_^

 That's it sedikit sebanyak tentang metamorphosis aku daripada seorang nerd raya tahun lepas kepada tak berapa nerd raya tahun ni.

bye Assalamualaikum

p/s: Selamat hari Raya Aidilfitri maaf zahir dan batin dari hujung rambut sampai ke hujung kaki.

Unreturnable Feelings

"If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean they have to be together right now... but they will eventually."

Assalamualaikum , how are you guys doing? 

Bertemu kita lagi dalam entry kedua aku dalam bulan Ramadhan tahun ni. Kali ni, aku nak bercakap tentang perihal "cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan". To be more specific, it is when your feelings of affection towards someone, cannot AND would not be possible to be reply in ways that you prefer. Since aku ni lelaki, then let me talk about this from the guy's perspective.

Now, let's see the reasons why things like this actually occur. 

One: Refusing ones past.

Ya, ini reason yang pertama in my opinion *based on first hand experience*. The girl/guy had meaningful memories of her past that she couldn't let go. Ini menunjukkan yang si perempuan seorang yang serius tentang mencari cinta dalam sesebuah perkahwinan. Tujuan utama bercouple bukan untuk sekadar suka-suka. It's unfortunate that the girl couldn't see that lelaki yang cintanya bertepuk sebelah tangan tu pun aim untuk benda yang sama; cinta dalam sesebuah perkahwinan bersama dengan si dia.

From here it'll be a bit personal.

Two: Doubts

The second reason. It's not nice of me to say this, but in my personal opinion,nowadays, in order for a women to feel secure about a men, dia perlu dijanjikan dengan sesuatu yang boleh memberi dia jaminan tentang masa depan dia. In my case, kalau aku tak mampu nak bercakap macam orang normal with Oren, couldn't show her that I can actually take care of her, or having something that differentiates me from other men out there, then I can say byebye to any chance to actually bina hidup bersama Oren.

This one's a bit general.

Three: Personal taste

The final reason. Yes, kepada perempuan semua kat luar sana, jangan la nak berdolak dalih tentang ni. Every single one of you have your own taste in man. But you need to realize one thing, the guy of your dreams doesn't exist. What's real is the guy that has feelings for you, hoping that you would realize he's right there for you, and for some stupid reason thinks that, some how, some way you would miraculously fall in love with him. 

*which is near impossible to begin with*

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Wah, emo sungguh aku malam ni ye? Jangan salah faham, I'm not mad or anything, I just had to vent out since I feel like crap ever since that talk I had. But that's history, now I want to tell you guys my side of the story.

Sepanjang hidup korang, korang pernah tak bercinta bagai nak rak, korang saling berjanji dengan pasangan korang that one day you'll end that relationship with marriage and that spark of love between you would be there eventhough korang akan hadapi dugaan and all those shit. 

*LOVEY DOVEY STUFF*

OF COURSE YOU HAVE! Sebab tu ialah pengalaman yang manusia normal macam korang akan hadapi. Unfortunately, aku bukanlah seorang manusia normal. I am a freak by nature. I live in a cubicle, semua pengalaman di atas tu,  none of it actually exist for me. 

Now that brings us to what I'm trying to talk about tonight. Like I said just now, I'm not normal. I talk like a nerd all the time. I froze up, otak jadi blank whenever I talk with people that I have feelings too. I can't smile properly to her whenever I look at her face. Aku selalu cakap benda-benda yang remeh and tak boleh diguna pakai when I tried to have  a conversation with her. I always forgot to ask meaningful things when I talk to her. I lost any sign of humor when I'm with her, any kind of jokes that I thought of would vanish just like that. 

 *that is just so freaking sad*

Apa yang aku cuba nak katakan ni ialah; although I look like a guy that she can't depends on, my feelings for her is true. Right now I might look like someone that can't promise her anything, but I refuse to give up. In fact from the first time I met her, I already set a goal in my mind. I want to marry this women. Yes. MARRIAGE. Why, you ask? SImple, true love can only be found in marriage. That is something I learn from my parents, and every single married couple out there.

But..*yes, there is a "but"*

If, somehow I'm just not destined for her..then I will put down my hands, and the only thing I can say to her is.. "I wish you will be happy.".. Tak lebih, tak kurang, takde yang lain selain tu. And if that happens, all of this chapters about her will be proof tentang macamana aku mencintai seorang perempuan dengan sepenuh hati aku. 

Right now, aku terus berpegang pada kata-kata seorang kawan aku ni. "If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean they have to be together right now... but they will eventually." I will always have faith in this.

Assalamualaikum.

p/s: bila baca balik, entry ni terasa sungguh emo and negatif..hmm...Sebelum aku lupa, aku nak ucapkan selamat hari raya Aidilfitri kepada semua umat Islam kat luar sana, and tak lupa jugak kepada semua kawan-kawan aku, harap korang maafkan salah silap aku, tak lupa juga pada Oren, maafkan la salah silap aku kat kau sepanjang perkenalan kita. I just want you to know that I love you and I hope you'll always be happy.

SEGMEN anGah Ini Blog Jiwa Jiwa - Ertinya Cinta Pada Anda?

 klik di sini

Assalamualaikum

sekali lagi bertemu di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini, kali ni, aku nak buat entry untuk segmen dari blog anGah - ini blog jiwa jiwa.*Go check it out!* Since ini pertama kali aku menulis untuk sebuah segmen, kalau ada salah silap tu, maafkan la, ye? hehe

 Apa yang kita faham apabila menyebut tentang "Cinta"? Bagi aku, cinta itu ialah kasih sayang, keprihatinan, dan yang penting sekali pengorbanan. Yang penting, ianya sesuatu perasaan yang dikongsi antara dua insan. Perasaan dari dua hati, tapi satu jiwa.

Aku bersyukur, sebab walaupun aku tak pernah merasa nikmatnya berpasangan, tapi aku tahu bagaimana rasanya bila diri ini jatuh cinta. Sepanjang pengalaman aku hidup di dunia ni, aku pernah jatuh cinta secara serius hanya dengan dua orang perempuan. Malang sekali bagi diri aku, nak merasa nikmatnye dicintai seseorang itu amatlah susah.

Aku belajar yang cinta itu sesuatu yang tak boleh dipaksa, cinta yang dipaksa itu ialah cinta yang hilang manisnya. Cinta yang dipaksa itu takkan lama serinya. Cinta yang dipaksa itu ialah sesuatu yang tidak rela. Kalau dia si dia, tak dapat menerima kita, kita tak boleh memaksa.

Aku jugak belajar erti kesabaran. Di saat diri aku mencintai seseorang, diri aku akan diuji. Mampu ke kita bersabar menunggu seseorang yang tak pasti akan menerima dan membalas perasaan kita? Kalau aku mampu bersabar menunggu 'dia'. Aku yakin dia akan sedar keikhlasan aku terhadap dia.

Akhir sekali, bagi aku cinta itu ialah pengorbanan. Aku pernah terfikir, untuk melepaskan dia, supaya dia takkan merasakan seolah-olah aku ni beban pada dia *sebab aku sukakan dia, tapi dia tak dapat terima aku..* dan agar dia boleh mencari lelaki yang mampu menjaga dia. Di saat aku terfikir macam tu, aku cuma terfikirkan tentang kebahagiaan dia. Aku cuma mahu dia gembira. Itu saja.

Jadi itulah dia, erti cinta pada diri aku. Moga si dia yang terbaca entry aku ni, akan faham dengan isi hati aku..

p/s: jiwang nya entry aku kali ni...haih..

Assalamualaikum.

Ali dan Fatimah Azzahra

Assalamualaikum

Cinta. When we talk about love, several tales would show up in our minds. Romeo and Juliet, Laila and Majnun, Uda and Dara. It's funny how most of the stories have a really tragic tale. But while we're busy reading about these tragic love stories, ada jugak kisah cinta ni yang ada penamat gembira. A really realistic one, but also really sweet. And it happened to real people too. 

*yep, percaye la*

There was a tale, deep down inside Saidina Ali, that he never told anyone in this world before. Fatimah, his childhood friend, the princess of Rasullullah, his cousin, had never looked so captivating to Ali's eyes before. 

Her elegance, her demeanor, and her beauty never had captivated Ali's senses until that fateful day. He saw this young lady tending to Rasulullah's wound, after being harassed by his own people. Fatimah was adamant, she went straight to Kaabah, standing up to the people who treated her father such way, and scolding them so hard, that the people just don't know how to react towards her.

Ali was mesmerize, all of his life, he never actually felt any love before. Now, he's actually feeling it, but he doesn't truly understands it that well. The feeling wasn't really mutual until one fateful day, Ali heard of a shocking news. A man had come to ask of Fatimah's hand in marriage. He felt devastated. To make matters worse, the man was the same man that is best of term with Rasullullah. A man who fought for Islam with his whole life and wealth. A man whose iman would never be doubt by Rasulullah or anyone else. Abu Bakar As Siddiq r.a.

"Allah is testing me" thought Ali. He truly felt like it was a test since he quickly compared himself to Abu Bakar. His place beside Rasullulah? Although Abu Bakar is not of the same line as Ali is to Rasulullah, Abu Bakar's determination in fighting for Allah can never be beaten by anyone. Not even Ali. When Abu Bakar chose to accompany Rasullullah for Hijrah, Ali was left to act as the decoy. Awaiting death for Rasullullah in his bed.

*Ini semua hanyalah dugaan..-Ali*

Just look at how Abu Bakar preaches of the way of Islam, how many important men that actually decided to embrace the religion. Such thing cannot be done by a man that seldom socialize like Ali. It wasn't possible after all. Just look at how many poor people that Abu Bakar actually aid, Bilal bin Rabbah, Yassir's family. How about Ali? In terms of wealth, Abu Bakar is a merchant, it's a clear thing that Abu Bakar can support Fatimah from financial aspect. Ali was a poor man from a poor family. "Such is brotherhood and love" mumbled Ali. "I prioritize Abu Bakar over myself, I prioritize Fatimah's happiness over my love." Love would never ask anyone to wait. It takes the opportunity or welcomes it. Love, is between bravery or sacrifice.
 

As time flows by, a small hope flickers insides Ali's heart. The marriage proposal was denied. The thankful Ali kept on waiting, making sure he himself would be ready. Somehow, the test had not yet end.

*Such test can make the human heart stutter..*

Once Abu Bakar was out of the picture, came another man. Such monstrosity and strength had earned him respect, and cause devils to run in his mere sight ever since he embraced Islam. Umar Bin Al Khatab. Yes, Al Faruq, the splitter of truth, had himself come to ask for Fatimah's hand in marriage. Umar embraced Islam 3 years after Ali, but who would doubt his honesty? His capacity to learn? To understand? Who would doubt the way only Umar and Hamzah would defend the Muslim community of that time period? Then Ali compared how he did the Hijrah with Umar. Ali did it quietly through the enemy sidelines. He had to do it at night-time, while during the day, he had to hide himself. Meanwhile, Umar in the other hand chose to announce it to the whole Quiraisy of his decision for Hijrah. Apart from challenging anyone that wanted to stop him in into a fight. Umar is a lion of a man. His bravery is unmatched by anyone. Excluding Rasullullah of course. Again, Ali thought, he is a man that is not yet ready to get marry. Especially marrying Fatimah Azzahra. No, it that case Umar is more than enough. Ali felt disheartened, but he accepts that fact anyway..

*satu demi satu halangan yang mendatang..*

Love would never ask anyone to wait. It takes the opportunity or welcomes it. Love, is between bravery or sacrifice. For Ali, this is his sacrifice. To his confusion, Ali receive the news of how the proposal was once again denied. 

Ali thought again, "What kind of man would Rasullullah want for his beloved princess? A millionare like Uthman who married Ruqayyah? Or Abul ’Ash ibn Rabi’kah , the Quraisy merchant whom married to Zainab? Ah, those two made me lose my confidence. Between the Muhajirrin, only Abdurrahman ibn Auf is actually qualified to ask for her hand."

Or maybe Rasullullah would want someone from Ansar to marry his princess? In order to strengthen their bonds. In that case, there's Sa’d ibn Mu’adzkah, the elegant, good looking leader of the Aus, or Sa’d ibn ’Ubaidah, the friendly leader of the Khazraj.

Out of no where, his Ansar friends ask Ali. "Why don't you try at asking her hand for marriage? Why not you try to propose to her? Somehow, we all feel that you might be the one that Rasullulah had been waiting for all this time for her princess." "I'm merely a poor man, kind I do this?" said Ali. "We will always be behind you friend" said his friends.

Mustering his whole courage, Ali went to meet Rasullullah and told him of his hope of asking Fatimah's hand in marriage. Yes, MARRIAGE. Ali knows, in terms of economy, he couldn't promise her anything. A suit of armor in his disposal and flour for him to eat. To ask for her to wait for 2 to 3 years would be a disgrace. "You are a true man among men o' Ali!" his heart kept telling him. "You are a man that is ready to be responsible for your love, to shoulder the risk of your choices. A man that believe in Allah's will."

*Only in Allah's will does he believe*

"Ah lan Wa sahlan" This two set of words came out of Rasullullah's mouth after hearing of Ali's proposal. Ali doesn't understand. What does Rasullullah means? He went and asked his friends of the meaning of these words. "Such stupidity!, if Rasullullah agrees to something, he would say Ah lan, but for you, he went as far as to say Ah lan wa sahlan, that is more than enough to say that her agrees to your proposal o' Ali!" And with that, Ali marries Fatimah by selling away his armor. For his willingness in sacrificing his own love for the sake of his friends, and his lover. He was finally united with that one women that he loves so much.

*penamat yang menggembirakan*

Ali was a true gentleman. This is a path that a warrior such as himself had to take, a road that interconnected with love. And right here, Love would never ask anyone to wait. And like Ali, he takes the opportunity or welcomes it. The first is sacrifice, and the second is bravery.

But such things had also occur to Fatimah. One day after their marriage, Fatimah told Ali " Please forgive me, for I had fallen in love with a man before you married me." The confused Ali asked her "Why then do you agreed to marry me?" Fatimah merely answered with a smile on her face "Because that man is you.."

*Touching doe..sweet sangat*

And that is the love story between Saidina Ali and Fatimah Azzahra.

Once again, aku quote ni,

"Andainya Kau adalah jodohku yang tertulis di Lauh Mahfuz, Allah pasti akan menanamkan rasa kasih dalam hatiku dan hatimu. Itu janji Allah..Akan tetapi selagi kita tidak diikat dengan ikatan yang sah, selagi itu jangan dibazirkan perasaan itu kerana kita masih tidak mempunyai hak untuk berbuat begitu….” 

Reading this tale had me thinking. Kalau lah somehow, Oren had feelings for someone else..I think I would rather let her be with that person than still thinking of me. That way she would be happy, right? Takde lah dia keseorangan lagi kan? Besides, cinta itu tak pernah meminta untuk menanti. Tapi ianya antara mengambil peluang itu, atau mempersilakan ia pergi. I think, in my case, if things turn out that way, I will let  her go. :)

*It's for her sake.*

Assalamualaikum 

p/s: sorry eh, kalau entry kali ni tak menarik sangat, just untuk tatapan bersama je, hee. 

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

Assalamualaikum

Like always, the reason aku menulis this time is because aku terasa terpanggil untuk buat entry tentang bulan Ramadhan *ye lah, aku tengok ramai blogger yang buat entry macam ni many weeks past, aku je yang terkontang-kanting buat entry pasal cintan-cintun ni semua*, apa kan daya, kalau jiwa sudah berbunga-bunga, bagaimana boleh di kekang perasaan itu..

Ehem..

Remember my last post? Yang kat hujung aku ada cakap aku terbaca pasal kisah cinta Saidina Ali dengan Saidatina Fatimah Azzahra tu? Kali ni pun berkait rapat dengan pasangan merpati dua sejoli ni jugak. Kalau sebelum ni pasal kisah cinta diorang, kali ni pulak tentang their marriage life and berkait rapat dengan masa diorang berpuasa.

Macam ni kisahnya...

Macam yang kita semua maklum, Saidina Ali and isterinya Fatimah Azzahra ialah dua orang manusia yang akan menjadi penghulu para muda-mudi di dalam syurga nanti *hmm, dah la love story diorang punya la sweet, now dua-dua masuk syurga...alangkah baiknya dua orang hamba Allah ni..* 

* kebaikan mereka membuatkan aku tersipu-sipu malu*

Saidina Ali sekeluarga ni bukan la orang yang senang-senang macam orang sekarang ni, lagi-lagi bulan puasa ni mesti la banyak berbelanja untuk keluarga kan? Nak dijadikan cerita, Saidina Ali pun pergi ke rumah seorang mamat Yahudi *ni bukan jenis ganas punya Yahudi ni* nak pinjam gandum untuk keluarganya. Selesai proses meminjam tersebut, Fatimah pun ambil gandum tu and buat roti daripadanya. Dengan izin Allah, datang la seorang hamba Allah ni nak mintak sikit makanan. Saidina Ali tanpa ragu-ragu terus bagi semua roti yang Fatimah buatkan tu kepada hamba Allah ni. Jadi tanpa berfikir panjang, Saidina Ali sekeluarga pun terpaksalah berbuka puasa hanya dengan meminum air. 

*sedih sungguh*

Hari berikutnya, diorang berpuasa lagi. Sekali lagi dengan izin Allah, datang la seorang kanak-kanak mencari makanan. Disebabkan sifat pemurah suami isteri ni, diorang pun bagi kat kanak-kanak tu roti yang Fatimah dah siapkan tu. Sekali lagi, dengan air saja lah diorang sekeluarga berbuka.. *Did I ever mention yang diorang ada dua orang anak lelaki time tu? Hassan and Hussin namanya* Sampai hari ketiga, sebelum nak menjamah roti yang Fatimah buatkan, sekali lagi datang seorang hamba Allah ni, katanya dia seorang tawanan Rasulullah yakni orang Yahudi yang kalah dalam perang. Since dia ialah tawanan mereka, dia pun minta dirinya diberi makan sebab itu dah jadi tangungjawab diorang sebagai conqueror diorang. Ali sekeluarga pun berbuka la dengan air saja...

* sangat mengayat hati*

Aku agak kalau korang kena benda macam ni, mesti dah sumpah seranah orang yang datang ke rumah korang tu kan? Haa, sebab tu la diorang ni dah terjamin tempat dalam syurga.

Satu hari, Ali bawa keluarganya berjumpa Rasulullah, korang agak terkejut tak Rasulullah tengok cucu-cucu dia dalam keadaan yang sangat la kurus kering macam orang tak cukup makan tu? *memang pun*. Tiba-tiba, turun Malaikat Jibril, memberitahu khabar gembira dekat Rasulullah sekeluarga. Tentang kedudukan yang dijanjikan Allah kepada Ali and Fatimah. Pada masa tu baru la diorang faham sebab ujian-ujian tu datang. Maka bersyukur la diorang sekeluarga. 

*baru ku faham*

Mendengar cerita ni masa tazkirah kat masjid buat aku terfikir nilai diri aku sebagai seorang Muslim. Setakat ni aku puasa tanpa masalah, tapi kadang-kadang bab ibadat aku tertinggal. Kadang-kadang aku mencarut, sedangkan aku tau benda tu salah. Bila fikir macam tu, buatkan aku rasa sangat la kecik di sisi dua orang yang jadi idola aku *semenjak aku baca tentang kisah cinta diorng ni* ni.

*these two made me feel all watery inside*

"Ya Allah, aku memohon kepada mu, jika Engkau berikan aku dugaan dan ujian yang sebegitu, kau kuatkanlah iman ku, kuatkan kudratku, dan jadikan lah aku seorang lelaki yang mampu menjaga keluargaku dan orang yang aku cintai."

   

Assalamualaikum

p/s: Lain kali aku cerita tentang Love Story diorang eh?

Jodoh

Assalamualaikum

“Andainya Kau adalah jodohku yang tertulis di Lauh Mahfuz, Allah pasti akan menanamkan rasa kasih dalam hatiku dan hatimu. Itu janji Allah..Akan tetapi selagi kita tidak diikat dengan ikatan yang sah, selagi itu jangan dibazirkan perasaan itu kerana kita masih tidak mempunyai hak untuk berbuat begitu….”

 Aku terpanggil untuk buat entry ni selepas ape yang jadi kat aku dalam beberapa hari ni. Believe it or not, aku termimpikan seorang perempuan yang akan jadi jodoh aku suatu hari nanti.

*OH GOD! OH WHAT?!*

Calm yo tits, aku bukan cakap main-main ni. Ni benda betul, and before you quickly make an assumption yang aku termimpikan Oren, let me explain first. I saw the girl, but I couldn't see her face. Get it? Sebab tu aku kate aku "termimpikan seorang perempuan yang akan jadi jodoh aku suatu hari nanti". 

*sekarang aku asyik terfikirkan dia*

You see, a week before I experience that dream. I didn't sleep for the whole night. The reason? I was crying. Why I was crying you asked? Well, let's just say that I was feeling afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of somehow I'll end up losing another girl again. And then being alone, again. I was so afraid that my whole teen life would end up being meaningless. Yes, for me, life without having someone to give my love to is meaningless. It's not the same as loving your family or your relative, it's different. It feels warmer. It feels far more intimate. That night, I prayed, hard. Somehow, if Allah can show me in some way if I would end up being alone in the future. Fortunately for me. I think Allah granted my prayers.

*I cried solemnly*

In that dream, I saw a girl. Masa tu kami dekat stesen keretapi. Somehow, we were waiting there. Together. Tapi aku macam malu-malu, so I decided to let her be alone for a while. But from afar, I kept on looking at her. I wanted to make sure she was safe. Then dia perasan apa yang aku tengah buat. Slowly, she came to me, hold both of my hands, and gave me the sweetest smile I've ever seen my whole life. She said to me, "we're going to get married" and I was rendered speechless. But deep down inside, my heart felt like its being filled with something. Something I never felt before. I felt at that time the feeling of my love being replied by a women. That women loves me the same way I love her.

*don't you love it when she..*

 *..loves you back?*

Maybe, ini caranya Allah nak tunjukkan yang setiap manusia tu dicipta secara berpasangan. Selagi aku bersabar, jodoh tu akan datang. Tak kira la siapa perempuan tu, aku akan terima dengan redha.

"Bersabarlah wahai hati, kuatkan imanmu, kentalkan semangatmu, nescaya jodohmu pasti akan datang."

Assalamualaikum.

p/s: Aku tak nampak rupa perempuan tu, but entah macamana, aku boleh nampak senyuman dia. It was beautiful. Aku bersyukur sebab dapat mimpi ni masa bulan Ramadhan, and at the same time terbaca kisah cinta Saidina Ali dengn Fatimah Azzahra. It gave me hope. :)