Jodoh

Assalamualaikum

“Andainya Kau adalah jodohku yang tertulis di Lauh Mahfuz, Allah pasti akan menanamkan rasa kasih dalam hatiku dan hatimu. Itu janji Allah..Akan tetapi selagi kita tidak diikat dengan ikatan yang sah, selagi itu jangan dibazirkan perasaan itu kerana kita masih tidak mempunyai hak untuk berbuat begitu….”

 Aku terpanggil untuk buat entry ni selepas ape yang jadi kat aku dalam beberapa hari ni. Believe it or not, aku termimpikan seorang perempuan yang akan jadi jodoh aku suatu hari nanti.

*OH GOD! OH WHAT?!*

Calm yo tits, aku bukan cakap main-main ni. Ni benda betul, and before you quickly make an assumption yang aku termimpikan Oren, let me explain first. I saw the girl, but I couldn't see her face. Get it? Sebab tu aku kate aku "termimpikan seorang perempuan yang akan jadi jodoh aku suatu hari nanti". 

*sekarang aku asyik terfikirkan dia*

You see, a week before I experience that dream. I didn't sleep for the whole night. The reason? I was crying. Why I was crying you asked? Well, let's just say that I was feeling afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of somehow I'll end up losing another girl again. And then being alone, again. I was so afraid that my whole teen life would end up being meaningless. Yes, for me, life without having someone to give my love to is meaningless. It's not the same as loving your family or your relative, it's different. It feels warmer. It feels far more intimate. That night, I prayed, hard. Somehow, if Allah can show me in some way if I would end up being alone in the future. Fortunately for me. I think Allah granted my prayers.

*I cried solemnly*

In that dream, I saw a girl. Masa tu kami dekat stesen keretapi. Somehow, we were waiting there. Together. Tapi aku macam malu-malu, so I decided to let her be alone for a while. But from afar, I kept on looking at her. I wanted to make sure she was safe. Then dia perasan apa yang aku tengah buat. Slowly, she came to me, hold both of my hands, and gave me the sweetest smile I've ever seen my whole life. She said to me, "we're going to get married" and I was rendered speechless. But deep down inside, my heart felt like its being filled with something. Something I never felt before. I felt at that time the feeling of my love being replied by a women. That women loves me the same way I love her.

*don't you love it when she..*

 *..loves you back?*

Maybe, ini caranya Allah nak tunjukkan yang setiap manusia tu dicipta secara berpasangan. Selagi aku bersabar, jodoh tu akan datang. Tak kira la siapa perempuan tu, aku akan terima dengan redha.

"Bersabarlah wahai hati, kuatkan imanmu, kentalkan semangatmu, nescaya jodohmu pasti akan datang."

Assalamualaikum.

p/s: Aku tak nampak rupa perempuan tu, but entah macamana, aku boleh nampak senyuman dia. It was beautiful. Aku bersyukur sebab dapat mimpi ni masa bulan Ramadhan, and at the same time terbaca kisah cinta Saidina Ali dengn Fatimah Azzahra. It gave me hope. :)