Red Rose Is The Only Girl I'll Never Be Able To Talk Properly With

What was it that I've been doing all this time that causes me to neglect this blog I wonder..? Well, I'm starting fresh, deleted those two entries before * which I forgotten what I'm suppose to write about* and now I'll finally update this blog with THIS entry.

You remembered Rose? Yes, the girl that ended up being in one group with me for Madam N's assignment? You know how I always wanted to speak to her, but the thing is, Rose has this kind of "air" around her that makes her..a bit unapproachable. It's kinda like a barrier that repels people around her. But the thing is, the only one being repelled is actually me. Yes, I AM the only ONE guy who would never be able to approach her properly. You must be thinking since I'm naive, maybe it's just my imagination. But this time, I'm pretty sure what I felt isn't just mere illusion. When other dudes *especially my friends* approach her, the way she reacts was different. It was more...friendly.. But when it was me.. I felt a tinge of coldness and a bit of rejection..

*it hurts*

I know, I know. The way I describe it isn't really understandable and it ended up making me look like like a snob-nose emo guy. I admit, I am emo. But not THAT kind of emo though. I mean, this girl reminded me of myself in the beginning. Keep things to myself, don't reveal too much of my feelings to anyone and never look straight into someone's eyes. That's what happened when I tried to talk to her. No eye contact whatsoever.

*seriously*

it's driving me insane..to the point of me being like this..

*I'm losing my mind..*

And Thus, I Hit The Table

Here's some funny stuff. Before my memory went fuzzy and I lose the whole thing, I better "record" it here.

So, the day started like this. *Insert boring stuff here*. K, finish with that. There was two classes for that day and this "incident"*lol* happened during Mdm. N's class. Well, the class today was about short stories. Mdm came in quite late since she wanted to copy the material for the class. Then she came in normally, Mdm talks about the thingy we're learning that day, about the plot and stuff and then the characteristics of the characters *that sounded weird* in the story and how we can learn about the characters traits just by the description given by the author in the story *yadayadayada*. That when the fun part starts, Madam * I type in full this time* called me, Jin and Sasuke in front.

*WTF?!*

It turns out she wanted to make us as an example of characters based on our appearance. So, as awkward as it was, I did managed to stand in front of everyone * I know, it's a lame achievement*. That's when Madam asked the whole class to inspect us * Me, Jin, and Sasuke*, and based on our appearance only, they had to tell what kind of personality we have and what kind of music we like and all that stuff. That's when it occur, I totally forgotten that I can't face a large crowd of people. If I do that, I'll end up laughing and then my face would be red as a ripe tomato. So, I tried my best hiding that fact from everyone by just smiling *forcefully* and act cool *yeaa right*. Madam ask them about my clothes, and then Lucis said jokingly "Handsome!"*I KNOW YOU'RE JUST JOKING* and then Madam suggested to them that I might be a firm supporter of Gothic style. * I know I wear black clothes,but seriously..Gothic?*. I was trying hard not to laugh and my all the blood was rushing to my face, but I couldn't control it. That's when Madam asked their opinion about my face and then Rose *sarcastically* said "he doesn't really smile much, right?" And when this "smiling" stuff was brought up, that's when they started to asked me, why I don't smile, even Madam asked me the same thing. I tried to smile although in dismay, it ended being a sour kind of smile...the next thing I knew was that, I turn around facing Madam's table and I hit the table so hard that I can feel the very veins of the wood been used* I was just over-exaggerating that part, don't mind me*. Then, I turn around facing the class, and I swear they could see my crimson red face * I'm quite tan, so imagine having a cloudy glass of wine, yea, that's how I looked like* Then out of impulse, I slap both sides of my face hoping that I could shake off that embarrassment and just get the hell on with the class. Unfortunately though, that ends up making Madam quite scared of my behavior.. *sigh*

*I wanted to run away as emo as I can that moment* 

By the end of the day, I was happy despite making a fool of myself in front of everyone in class. At least I showed more than I bargained before right? Yea, people should feel lucky because I actually smile *albeit a little..and it wasn't that good for a smile*