The End of A Chapter Is The Start of New One

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahiwabarokatuh

Ehem, terlebih dahulu saya memanjatkan rasa syukur ke hadrat ilahi kerana masih bernafas untuk menulis untuk blog ini yang hampir-hampir lapuk ditelan zaman dek kerana kemalasan saya untuk mengupdatekannye pun.

Ok, ada gaya percakapan macam orang sastera tak? Takde langsung? ok..

Let's cut to the chase. Tengok pada tajuk pun mesti dah boleh agak punye. Seperti anda sedia maklum *dan juga kepada sesiapa yang tak tahu* my pursue towards getting Amie's love does not bore any fruition, therefore aku telah mengambil keputusan untuk mengundur diri sebelum jiwa aku yang sedia terseksa ni terus remuk lagi and lagi. Dengan itu, tamat la sudah ceritera yang tiada permulaan dan hanya pengakhiran~ chewahh dah macam A.Samad Said pulak aku ni -__-''.

*eherm*

Korang mesti tertanya-tanya, "Aik, budak ni rilek je nak turn off macam tu aje, takkan takde rasa sedih, hati hancur, kepala pecah, tangisan teresak-esak kot? Apasal tiba-tiba nak retreat? Takde hujan, takde ribut, tuptup dah give up, apa kes?". And aku pun jawab, "Naaaaa, I ain't even mad~" *sambil berjalan gaya Haters gonna hate* Bajet like a boss sangat la tu konon...

Tapi hakikatnya...although aku ni manusia yang orang kenal sebagai takde emosi, I do cry when things like this happened to me. Yes, I really did. I cried by myself the whole night. Heck, even roommate aku sendiri pun tak sedar aku nangis. Heh, of course la, dia sendiri pun banyak masalah, so elok pun dia tak sedar, nanti makin menyusahkan dia pulak nak cheer up aku. -____- . Besides, aku buat pun bersebab. An incident happen, but I won't go into details, let's just say that both of us just don't stand a chance to have anything in common. Another reason why I decided untuk undur diri ialah I heard a quote from a wise man saying "If a person exist solely to slow you down from moving forward, then choose to let him/her go." And that's what I exactly did.

Somehow someway, tak semua benda yang terjadi pada aku tu kekal buruk. The moment I chose to give her up, aku dah set mind set yang "After I let her go, I would do a favor for both of us. She would find someone better *unless sifat memilih dia tu tak dikikis* and a world of chances will be available for me. I will live my life to the fullest, I will shed this skin of humiliation I've been enduring all this while knowing her, and I will make sure my future wife to be the exact opposite of both of my previous crushes. She will stand tall above all of them, and she will be the best women I've ever met. That's my promise."

*She'll be my Ed'sassin...*

*...And I'll be her AO.*

See? That's how I'm coping with the loss. Aku bersyukur yang Tuhan berikan aku tanda untuk bertindak, untuk mara ke depan, untuk buat sesuatu bagi diri aku yang aku tak terfikir nak buat. Aku akan pastikan diri aku sentiasa dalam keadaan positif, kerana aku yakin yang apa terjadi pada aku ada sebab tersendiri, Allah maha berkuasa, Dia tetapkan dugaan untuk diri aku berdasarkan setakat mana aku mampu bertahan kerana He won't give His slaves a hurdle they can't pass. Therefore aku akan redha dengan qada' and qadar dari diriNya.

So that pretty much sums up what going to come for me in the near future. Let's hope it'll be a good thing. InsyaAllah.

Dan ingat pulalah ketika Tuhanmu memberikan pernyataan: "Jika kamu bersyukur pasti Kutambah nikmatKu kepadamu; sebaliknya jika kamu mengingkari nikmat itu, tentu siksaanku lebih dahsyat. (Ibrahim: 7) Karunia itulah yang disampaikan Allah sebagai berita gembira kepada hamba-hambaNya yang beriman dan mengerjakan kebaikan. Katakanlah: "Aku tidak meminta upah kepadamu atas seruanku ini, kecuali hanya kasih sayang dalam kekeluargaan. Siapa yang mengerjakan kebaikan, Kami lipat gandakan kebaikannya itu. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengampun dan Penilai. (Ash-Syura: 23) Kaum Luthpun telah mendustakan peringatan Tuhan. Kami hembuskan kepada mereka angin puyuh, kecuali kaum keluarga Luth, mereka telah kami selamatkan sebelum fajar menyingsing. Suatu anugrah dari kami. Demikianlah kami memberi ganjaran kepada siapa yang bersyukur. (Al-Qamar: 33-35) 

Assalamualaikum :)

Ps: credits to  Sharkox, the cartoons for Versus are spot on coolio, bro ;D

The Year of Distant Past

Assalamualaikum to all lelaki and perempuan, homo and sapiens, animal and human sekalian.

First thing of all, tolong just ignore tajuk entry ni, this is NOT a blovel entry and definitely NOT a catchy, dramatic autobiography of myself organized in chapters and what-so-ever. Agree?

(saje je buat tajuk yang mengarut) teehee

Moving on..

So how does 2011 had been for you? Was it great? Was it full of dramas? Or was it just plain, bland all together? Well, it certainly NOT that bland for me though. Let's reminisce a little bit.

The first cruel act of 2011 against me was what I called the "Leader Aspect". Aku diberi jawatan yang aku sendiri tak tahu hujung pangkal, tanggungjawab yang aku kira berat, and paling sekali tanggungjawab yang memerlukan aku terus berhubungan dengan orang lain. I know, if Syamil reads this, he would say "Alah, ape la sangat, ni baru tanggungjawab dekat sini, orang lain pun ada tanggungjawab masing-masing jugak." Ye Syamil, aku tau tu -_-

The second act was thrusting me into the world of martial arts. Aku taktau sejak bila, lepas aku masuk silat, I'd notice myself having a sense of enlightment. Instead of seeing the world dari aspek hitam putih, aku mula nampak warna-warna yang aku sendiri tak pernah nak ambil pusing tu semua. Weird.. Did I ever mentioned yang sekarang ni I'm prone towards violence? Aku tau, the first dugaan yang aku kena tempuh, kuatkan kesabaran diri dulu. *teringat masa aku mengamuk sampai patah penyapu tu aku tibai, good memories haha*

*i can do this, only when I'm really mad*

The third act. Being blessed with classmates with a plethora of traits that sometimes it made me vomiting rainbows all the way. I mean seriously, untuk cuba nak satukan diorang semua seems like an impossible thing, masing-masing ada hal sendiri, masing-masing ada masalah sendiri, and sometimes diorang tak boleh nak commit lebih-lebih. But I do understand though, mereka semua ada life, outside. Fortunately for myself, I don't have any, jadi kalau nak tumpukan sepenuhnya dengan tugas aku and silat pun takde masalah.

*I ain't doing this because it feels good*

The fourth act. Various instance when I gotten myself mad dengan classmates aku sendiri. Yang ni bukan salah diorang, but this one is a problem yang aku ada dari dalam, my personal vendetta. Even kalau diorang buat aku marah pun aku tak salahkan diorang, sebab let's face it, aku ni memang orang yang panas baran sejak azali, the only thing that kept me sane is the fact that I still have Allah by my side.

The fifth act. Learning which one is friend and which one is foe. Yes, tahun 2011 mengajar aku untuk membezakan antara kawan dengan lawan. Sepanjang tahun aku alami satu demi satu halangan, ada orang yang boleh diharap disaat aku susah, and ada jugak orang yang menyusahkan aku, samada diorang sedar atau tak. But to you guys yang stand by me until the end, yang sabar dengan aku punya temper ni. Satu ucapan terima kasih aje yang aku boleh ucapkan. Thanks a lot dudes.

* I really do*

The final and the most cruelest act of all, heartbreak. Aku dah habiskan 1 tahun setengah dekat Unisel, and untuk 1 tahun setengah tu jugak aku terus hidup as a singular lifeform. *wait..what?* I learnt that being a nice guy doesn't have its benefits. Being too nice can turn you into an asshole instead. I also learnt that setiap peristiwa yag melibatkan perempuan dalam hidup aku doesn't have anything to do dengan CINTA. Not at all, everything happens simply because a biological reaction. Maybe hari aku tertarik kepada setiap perempuan yang aku pernah kenal ni is simply sebab their attractive hormones kicks in and for some odd reason angin bertiup ke arah aku and aku pun ter-effect dengan hormone diorang. Ya, aku rasa tu penjelasan paling make sense kot? I mean seriously, you can't really trust your feelings bila berkait rapat dengan perempuan. Honestly speaking.

*single walks never felt any better than this*

2011 had been a year that taught me a lot of stuff. It might be bad, it might be good, but overall it taught me to be more mature, spiritually and mentally....pffft..I'm still an immature kid towards the end of it, haha

P/s : sorry kalau bosan, it's been ages since I last wrote an entry.

Tersedar Dari Lamunan

Assalamualaikum yo

Dah agak lama semenjak aku last update blog aku ni, dah nak berhabuk dah aku tinggalkan. Disebabkan ketandusan idea 2-3 minggu ni, aku tak tahu macamana nak update entry yang best-best. Almaklum lah, hidup aku as a student ni tak cukup colourful macam muda mudi lain zaman sekarang, apekan daya *hewhew*

Okaylah, since aku pun dah ada point nak cerita kat sini, then let me proceed lah kan? Daripada dok merapu tak tentu pasal.

Before that, korang kenal tak Matluthfi? Ni vlogger Malaysia punya tau, very famous. Most of his videos are about his opinions, feelings and beliefs towards certain topic. Serious as fudge dia punya video semua best-best and tambah lagi dengan dia punya loghat utara tu. Even a straight guy like me thinks this dude's attractive. Seriously. *sumpah aku nampak macam gay bila cakap macam ni HAHA*

*HAHA*

Ehem, tapi tujuan aku buat entry ni bukan untuk promote dia, nononononono~ tapi aku nak cakap pasal benda lain sebenarnya.

You see, semenjak dua menjak ni, aku rasa macam hidup aku ni penuh sangat dengan masalah. Tu tak tambah lagi dengan kecuaian aku dalam melaksanakan tanggungjawab aku dalam seharian. *bapak tak boleh blah ayat aku ni, ewwww* Kadang-kadang aku terasa seolah aku ni manusia paling malang sekali disebabkan benda-benda yang jadi kat aku ni. Buat tugas, macam harammmm. Nak study, langsung tak masuk otakkk. Orang tanya soalan, blankkkkkk. Buat presentation, langsung tak ikut perancangan...Ape lah nasib..

Then tatkala aku sedang bergundah gulana tu, satu cahaya harapan dalam bentuk dua orang individu pun muncul dalam hidup aku. Mereka ialah saudara Matluthfi and Mr K!

I believe, at this point *hopefully* korang mesti akan kata "OMG OMG MACAMANA DAUS BOLEH KENA TOLONG DENGAN DUA MAMAT FAMOUS NI?!! ADAKAH DAUS PUN SEBENARNYA FAMOUS JUGAKZZ!!!!111111!!!11???//" Haha, ni cuma andaian, padahal takde siapa pun yang baca entry aku ni *troll diri sendiri t-_-t*

*Ini hanya angan-angan*

Of course la!!!...diorang tak tolong aku secara langsung. Tapi just by reading Mr K's entry and bro Matluthfi's vid, aku telah sedar akan relevannya dugaan yang aku tengah alami ni.

Cuba usha vid ni, kalau tak pun download je guna keepvid.

antara quote best dari vid ni:

Matluthfi- "bila ada masalah baru la nak cari Tuhan, but that doesn't change anything either. Bukan kah Allah kata Dia takkan mengubah nasib kita kalau kita tak cuba mengubahnya sendiri?"

Matluthfi- "sometimes, you think you are well prepared, you're gonna be alright, you're gonna be fine, nothing's gonna happen to you, you're going to finish your work on time, and suddenly problems happen and that's when your emotion are fully tested"

*Yang quote nombor dua tu macam sebijik kena dekat aku HAHA*

See, aku ambil ikhtibar dari vid bro Matluthfi di atas dan mula menganggap semua musibah yang menimpa aku dalam masa terdekat ni sebgai satu ujian yang Allah turunkan ke atas aku untuk letakkan aku kembali on track menuju ke arah takdir aku sama ada baik atau buruk. So, aku mula ambil pendekatan lain dengan menganggap "akan ada benda baik yang akan jadi dekat aku lepas musibah and cabaran ni semua berlalu". Seriously, I really do think something good will happen as long aku terus bersabar.

and daripada blog Mr K pulak, I learned of this quote:

"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."

-Barney Stinson-

*seriously true*

Haha, ni daripada How I Met Your Mother. Best cite ni! *hewhew*

and this one:

"When life gives you lemon, make grape juice. Then sit back relax and let the world wonder how the hell you did that."

*Ini lagi la ohsem*

Well, like I said, now I have a bit of a positive outlook on life and hopefully, aku akan keep this attitude for years to come.

Assalamualaikum.

Shopping raya & Metamorphosis

Assalamualaikum yo!

How you all doing? Sihat wal'afiat la semuanya ye? Nothing much to talk about other than the fact yang my weight had just increase tenfold tonight *sebab pergi convoy takbir raya dari rumah ke rumah, best experience ever! Dapat makan banyak pulak tu! ^^*

Ehem.

So, about that last entry that I did...I guess I sounded kinda angry while writing that eh? Ah, biasa la, dalam puasa macam ni, memang cepat melenting. I don't know why honestly..hoho. Let's just leave it like that shall we? 

Okay, let's talk about Raya esok ni instead. I've got a lot of things to talk about for this one! You see, raya tahun ni is the best one for me. Wanna know why? Sebab I'd got the chance to shop nonstop till I drop! *lol*

Haha yee, raya kali ni mak and ayah aku secara tiba-tiba mendapat hidayah untuk membawa aku and adik aku pergi bershoppping baju di tempat yang tak pernah aku jangka aku akan jejakkan kaki. KEDAI BAJU LELAKI. Ye la bhai, selama ni aku mana lepak tempat-tempat ni semua *Jusco, Parade dan mall-mall yang mempunyai kedai pakaian khusus untuk lelaki dan sebagainya*. Sebelum ni, every time nak raya, ayah aku akan kata "Okay, malam ni kita pegi depan Billion, cari baju raya kamu". Every single time, aku pulak takkan la nak complain, itu dasar anak tak bersyukur puihh! 

So ini dia bendanya yang aku beli!

*Straight jeans(sayang gile vavi)*

*Baju number 1!*

*Domo-kun~*

Senang cerita, raya kali ni aku memang borong baju sakan, hoho~ Korang pulak macamana? 

Okay yang tu dah habis, sekarang cerita lain pulak. Masa aku tengah browsing profile pictures aku, aku ternampak la muka aku masa mula-mula masuk Unisel *lebih kurang half a year ago*. I must say, memang lain gile vavi. Aku rasa memang banyak yang berubah, especially bila aku tengok album raya aku tahun lepas. Pejam celik-pejam celik dah setengah tahun aku jadi student universiti, and masuk kali ni, dah 2 kali aku sambut as a student, mahasiswa pulak tu. To top it off, I'm barely the same guy back then compared with now.

"KRONOLOGI PERUBAHAN STYLE AKU"

The beginning:

*zaman nerd (cermin mata besar)*

Masa ni, aku tak paham lagi keperluan bergaya ni. Tak masuk U pun lagi. Whenever my sisters ask me things regarding styles, fashion or whatnot, I'll just give them an IDGAF face.

Silly me..t-_-t

  *zaman awkward (universiti)*

Ya! Kejanggalan yang amat terserlah disitu...t-_-t.. Masa ni, aku baru masuk Unisel, tengok orang lain berstylo-stylo membuatkan aku berasa awkward terhadap diri sendiri. Ye lah, cuba tengok gaya aku dalam pic di atas...MAJOR AWKWARDNESS.

In progress:

*zaman muda mudi (aksesori)*

Masa ni pulak, aku dah ada kesedaran sikit nak bergaya semua bagai ni *cuma fulus je kurang and aku tak research baju apa yang sesuai dengan aku*. Perasankah anda akan band di pergelangan aku tersebut? Macam ni la rupa aku masa raya tahun lepas, hahah~

*zaman emo (wannabe)*

I tried growing my hair longer, and for a period of time, I was an unsuccessful emo guy. Sad, but kinda true..

*zaman messy (unsuccessful)*

Kali ni aku cuba simpan rambut panjang sikit, kusut masai, messy just so that I could try a skater style. Baju still kureng, and I end up cutting my hair since dahi aku sangat berminyak. Long hair+dahi berminyak=jerawat=no admirers.*fail maths FTW*

*zaman spike (kureng menjadi)*

Dengan dorongan kakak aku, finally I tried something I never done to my hair before, mencuba gaya spiky. In my case, tak menjadi sangat sebab rambut aku ni macam bulu beruang. Faham-faham je lah. By this time, I already feel comfortable wearing a t-shirt. Hoho.

Right now:

*zaman spikes with v-neck(hopeful)*

And this is how I look right now until this moment. Lain gila en? Even Guy said the same thing when he compared my old style and now. Aish, there's still room for improvement. Takpe, aku ni muda lagi, banyak masa untuk belajar bergaya lagi~Yipaaa~ ^_^

 That's it sedikit sebanyak tentang metamorphosis aku daripada seorang nerd raya tahun lepas kepada tak berapa nerd raya tahun ni.

bye Assalamualaikum

p/s: Selamat hari Raya Aidilfitri maaf zahir dan batin dari hujung rambut sampai ke hujung kaki.

Ali dan Fatimah Azzahra

Assalamualaikum

Cinta. When we talk about love, several tales would show up in our minds. Romeo and Juliet, Laila and Majnun, Uda and Dara. It's funny how most of the stories have a really tragic tale. But while we're busy reading about these tragic love stories, ada jugak kisah cinta ni yang ada penamat gembira. A really realistic one, but also really sweet. And it happened to real people too. 

*yep, percaye la*

There was a tale, deep down inside Saidina Ali, that he never told anyone in this world before. Fatimah, his childhood friend, the princess of Rasullullah, his cousin, had never looked so captivating to Ali's eyes before. 

Her elegance, her demeanor, and her beauty never had captivated Ali's senses until that fateful day. He saw this young lady tending to Rasulullah's wound, after being harassed by his own people. Fatimah was adamant, she went straight to Kaabah, standing up to the people who treated her father such way, and scolding them so hard, that the people just don't know how to react towards her.

Ali was mesmerize, all of his life, he never actually felt any love before. Now, he's actually feeling it, but he doesn't truly understands it that well. The feeling wasn't really mutual until one fateful day, Ali heard of a shocking news. A man had come to ask of Fatimah's hand in marriage. He felt devastated. To make matters worse, the man was the same man that is best of term with Rasullullah. A man who fought for Islam with his whole life and wealth. A man whose iman would never be doubt by Rasulullah or anyone else. Abu Bakar As Siddiq r.a.

"Allah is testing me" thought Ali. He truly felt like it was a test since he quickly compared himself to Abu Bakar. His place beside Rasullulah? Although Abu Bakar is not of the same line as Ali is to Rasulullah, Abu Bakar's determination in fighting for Allah can never be beaten by anyone. Not even Ali. When Abu Bakar chose to accompany Rasullullah for Hijrah, Ali was left to act as the decoy. Awaiting death for Rasullullah in his bed.

*Ini semua hanyalah dugaan..-Ali*

Just look at how Abu Bakar preaches of the way of Islam, how many important men that actually decided to embrace the religion. Such thing cannot be done by a man that seldom socialize like Ali. It wasn't possible after all. Just look at how many poor people that Abu Bakar actually aid, Bilal bin Rabbah, Yassir's family. How about Ali? In terms of wealth, Abu Bakar is a merchant, it's a clear thing that Abu Bakar can support Fatimah from financial aspect. Ali was a poor man from a poor family. "Such is brotherhood and love" mumbled Ali. "I prioritize Abu Bakar over myself, I prioritize Fatimah's happiness over my love." Love would never ask anyone to wait. It takes the opportunity or welcomes it. Love, is between bravery or sacrifice.
 

As time flows by, a small hope flickers insides Ali's heart. The marriage proposal was denied. The thankful Ali kept on waiting, making sure he himself would be ready. Somehow, the test had not yet end.

*Such test can make the human heart stutter..*

Once Abu Bakar was out of the picture, came another man. Such monstrosity and strength had earned him respect, and cause devils to run in his mere sight ever since he embraced Islam. Umar Bin Al Khatab. Yes, Al Faruq, the splitter of truth, had himself come to ask for Fatimah's hand in marriage. Umar embraced Islam 3 years after Ali, but who would doubt his honesty? His capacity to learn? To understand? Who would doubt the way only Umar and Hamzah would defend the Muslim community of that time period? Then Ali compared how he did the Hijrah with Umar. Ali did it quietly through the enemy sidelines. He had to do it at night-time, while during the day, he had to hide himself. Meanwhile, Umar in the other hand chose to announce it to the whole Quiraisy of his decision for Hijrah. Apart from challenging anyone that wanted to stop him in into a fight. Umar is a lion of a man. His bravery is unmatched by anyone. Excluding Rasullullah of course. Again, Ali thought, he is a man that is not yet ready to get marry. Especially marrying Fatimah Azzahra. No, it that case Umar is more than enough. Ali felt disheartened, but he accepts that fact anyway..

*satu demi satu halangan yang mendatang..*

Love would never ask anyone to wait. It takes the opportunity or welcomes it. Love, is between bravery or sacrifice. For Ali, this is his sacrifice. To his confusion, Ali receive the news of how the proposal was once again denied. 

Ali thought again, "What kind of man would Rasullullah want for his beloved princess? A millionare like Uthman who married Ruqayyah? Or Abul ’Ash ibn Rabi’kah , the Quraisy merchant whom married to Zainab? Ah, those two made me lose my confidence. Between the Muhajirrin, only Abdurrahman ibn Auf is actually qualified to ask for her hand."

Or maybe Rasullullah would want someone from Ansar to marry his princess? In order to strengthen their bonds. In that case, there's Sa’d ibn Mu’adzkah, the elegant, good looking leader of the Aus, or Sa’d ibn ’Ubaidah, the friendly leader of the Khazraj.

Out of no where, his Ansar friends ask Ali. "Why don't you try at asking her hand for marriage? Why not you try to propose to her? Somehow, we all feel that you might be the one that Rasullulah had been waiting for all this time for her princess." "I'm merely a poor man, kind I do this?" said Ali. "We will always be behind you friend" said his friends.

Mustering his whole courage, Ali went to meet Rasullullah and told him of his hope of asking Fatimah's hand in marriage. Yes, MARRIAGE. Ali knows, in terms of economy, he couldn't promise her anything. A suit of armor in his disposal and flour for him to eat. To ask for her to wait for 2 to 3 years would be a disgrace. "You are a true man among men o' Ali!" his heart kept telling him. "You are a man that is ready to be responsible for your love, to shoulder the risk of your choices. A man that believe in Allah's will."

*Only in Allah's will does he believe*

"Ah lan Wa sahlan" This two set of words came out of Rasullullah's mouth after hearing of Ali's proposal. Ali doesn't understand. What does Rasullullah means? He went and asked his friends of the meaning of these words. "Such stupidity!, if Rasullullah agrees to something, he would say Ah lan, but for you, he went as far as to say Ah lan wa sahlan, that is more than enough to say that her agrees to your proposal o' Ali!" And with that, Ali marries Fatimah by selling away his armor. For his willingness in sacrificing his own love for the sake of his friends, and his lover. He was finally united with that one women that he loves so much.

*penamat yang menggembirakan*

Ali was a true gentleman. This is a path that a warrior such as himself had to take, a road that interconnected with love. And right here, Love would never ask anyone to wait. And like Ali, he takes the opportunity or welcomes it. The first is sacrifice, and the second is bravery.

But such things had also occur to Fatimah. One day after their marriage, Fatimah told Ali " Please forgive me, for I had fallen in love with a man before you married me." The confused Ali asked her "Why then do you agreed to marry me?" Fatimah merely answered with a smile on her face "Because that man is you.."

*Touching doe..sweet sangat*

And that is the love story between Saidina Ali and Fatimah Azzahra.

Once again, aku quote ni,

"Andainya Kau adalah jodohku yang tertulis di Lauh Mahfuz, Allah pasti akan menanamkan rasa kasih dalam hatiku dan hatimu. Itu janji Allah..Akan tetapi selagi kita tidak diikat dengan ikatan yang sah, selagi itu jangan dibazirkan perasaan itu kerana kita masih tidak mempunyai hak untuk berbuat begitu….” 

Reading this tale had me thinking. Kalau lah somehow, Oren had feelings for someone else..I think I would rather let her be with that person than still thinking of me. That way she would be happy, right? Takde lah dia keseorangan lagi kan? Besides, cinta itu tak pernah meminta untuk menanti. Tapi ianya antara mengambil peluang itu, atau mempersilakan ia pergi. I think, in my case, if things turn out that way, I will let  her go. :)

*It's for her sake.*

Assalamualaikum 

p/s: sorry eh, kalau entry kali ni tak menarik sangat, just untuk tatapan bersama je, hee. 

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

Assalamualaikum

Like always, the reason aku menulis this time is because aku terasa terpanggil untuk buat entry tentang bulan Ramadhan *ye lah, aku tengok ramai blogger yang buat entry macam ni many weeks past, aku je yang terkontang-kanting buat entry pasal cintan-cintun ni semua*, apa kan daya, kalau jiwa sudah berbunga-bunga, bagaimana boleh di kekang perasaan itu..

Ehem..

Remember my last post? Yang kat hujung aku ada cakap aku terbaca pasal kisah cinta Saidina Ali dengan Saidatina Fatimah Azzahra tu? Kali ni pun berkait rapat dengan pasangan merpati dua sejoli ni jugak. Kalau sebelum ni pasal kisah cinta diorang, kali ni pulak tentang their marriage life and berkait rapat dengan masa diorang berpuasa.

Macam ni kisahnya...

Macam yang kita semua maklum, Saidina Ali and isterinya Fatimah Azzahra ialah dua orang manusia yang akan menjadi penghulu para muda-mudi di dalam syurga nanti *hmm, dah la love story diorang punya la sweet, now dua-dua masuk syurga...alangkah baiknya dua orang hamba Allah ni..* 

* kebaikan mereka membuatkan aku tersipu-sipu malu*

Saidina Ali sekeluarga ni bukan la orang yang senang-senang macam orang sekarang ni, lagi-lagi bulan puasa ni mesti la banyak berbelanja untuk keluarga kan? Nak dijadikan cerita, Saidina Ali pun pergi ke rumah seorang mamat Yahudi *ni bukan jenis ganas punya Yahudi ni* nak pinjam gandum untuk keluarganya. Selesai proses meminjam tersebut, Fatimah pun ambil gandum tu and buat roti daripadanya. Dengan izin Allah, datang la seorang hamba Allah ni nak mintak sikit makanan. Saidina Ali tanpa ragu-ragu terus bagi semua roti yang Fatimah buatkan tu kepada hamba Allah ni. Jadi tanpa berfikir panjang, Saidina Ali sekeluarga pun terpaksalah berbuka puasa hanya dengan meminum air. 

*sedih sungguh*

Hari berikutnya, diorang berpuasa lagi. Sekali lagi dengan izin Allah, datang la seorang kanak-kanak mencari makanan. Disebabkan sifat pemurah suami isteri ni, diorang pun bagi kat kanak-kanak tu roti yang Fatimah dah siapkan tu. Sekali lagi, dengan air saja lah diorang sekeluarga berbuka.. *Did I ever mention yang diorang ada dua orang anak lelaki time tu? Hassan and Hussin namanya* Sampai hari ketiga, sebelum nak menjamah roti yang Fatimah buatkan, sekali lagi datang seorang hamba Allah ni, katanya dia seorang tawanan Rasulullah yakni orang Yahudi yang kalah dalam perang. Since dia ialah tawanan mereka, dia pun minta dirinya diberi makan sebab itu dah jadi tangungjawab diorang sebagai conqueror diorang. Ali sekeluarga pun berbuka la dengan air saja...

* sangat mengayat hati*

Aku agak kalau korang kena benda macam ni, mesti dah sumpah seranah orang yang datang ke rumah korang tu kan? Haa, sebab tu la diorang ni dah terjamin tempat dalam syurga.

Satu hari, Ali bawa keluarganya berjumpa Rasulullah, korang agak terkejut tak Rasulullah tengok cucu-cucu dia dalam keadaan yang sangat la kurus kering macam orang tak cukup makan tu? *memang pun*. Tiba-tiba, turun Malaikat Jibril, memberitahu khabar gembira dekat Rasulullah sekeluarga. Tentang kedudukan yang dijanjikan Allah kepada Ali and Fatimah. Pada masa tu baru la diorang faham sebab ujian-ujian tu datang. Maka bersyukur la diorang sekeluarga. 

*baru ku faham*

Mendengar cerita ni masa tazkirah kat masjid buat aku terfikir nilai diri aku sebagai seorang Muslim. Setakat ni aku puasa tanpa masalah, tapi kadang-kadang bab ibadat aku tertinggal. Kadang-kadang aku mencarut, sedangkan aku tau benda tu salah. Bila fikir macam tu, buatkan aku rasa sangat la kecik di sisi dua orang yang jadi idola aku *semenjak aku baca tentang kisah cinta diorng ni* ni.

*these two made me feel all watery inside*

"Ya Allah, aku memohon kepada mu, jika Engkau berikan aku dugaan dan ujian yang sebegitu, kau kuatkanlah iman ku, kuatkan kudratku, dan jadikan lah aku seorang lelaki yang mampu menjaga keluargaku dan orang yang aku cintai."

   

Assalamualaikum

p/s: Lain kali aku cerita tentang Love Story diorang eh?

A Seed Called Love

  Assalamualaikum, hi ya guys!

"Bila kita cintakan seseorang, kita takkan mengharapkan mereka untuk menjadi milik kita. Apa yang kita mahukan, hanyalah kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan bagi diri mereka."-Sincerely me.

Sekadar pembuka entry pada *tengah malam* hari ni, hoho ^^

A couple of months ago, I was finally on a stage where I think I have found someone that I love. Tapi aku belum faham apa yang dimaksudkan dengan perkataan "cinta" tu. For me, semua perkara yang terjadi kat aku, sepanjang beberapa bulan ni, had changed me into an impulsive man. Because of my impulsiveness, aku anggap yang showing my affection towards her would actually secure my spot in her heart.

*:)*

Somehow, until a day ago, I was taken in by a storm with a situation that demands me to make a decision. Between sabotaging a beautiful relationship, or cuba sedaya upaya aku untuk baiki hubungan tu. The situation presented me with a choice. In that split second moment, aku pilih jalan yang aku anggap terbaik untuk membuatkan "dia" gembira, iaitu dengan bagi sokongan moral to her, and urging her to do what she think is right for her.

*believe in me*

I'm sure you are wondering, if I really do love her, kenapa aku tak try untuk buat benda yang patut bagi kelebihan kat diri aku, betul tak?

* I was torn between the right choice*

Honestly, at first aku pun tak tahu, kalau aku dah buat pilihan yang betul *bagi aku* atau tak. But to think of it, from a love-struck individual point of view, I think I'd made the right decision. Today, she showed me how happy she was. For me, nothing matters most than seeing that smile of hers, even if she won't be with me. 

*I really do*

Now, I would love her for no more reason other than Allah. Kerana sekarang..aku serahkan soal jodoh kepada DIA. Apa yang aku mmpu buat, hanyelah berusaha. Aku percaya, mungkin jodoh tu bukan sekarang, tapi satu hari nanti. 

 *Aku yakin!*

Assalamualaikum. 

p/s: I think..someday, I'll use this entries about hers as proof that at one point in my life, I had loved a women, with all of my heart. 

 

Orange! Grrrr *I'm angry not horny t-.-t*

Excuse moire' 

You know how last time I talk about me challenging Orange to be my girl friend right? Well it turns out she REALLY didn't give shit about the thing after all. In fact, she was uber relax when she had the chance to reply to my IM's. 

Just as a sign of good sport, I intentionally posted on her FB saying "See? I won! You don't have any chances in the first place! Hoho!" *damn, I sounded like a cocky cock douche -.-* But then out of no where, she replied by saying. "you're the loser actually ^^" And I was sitting here LIKE A BOSS enjoying my time online. And she uttered that one sentence, causing my face to be like this.

*lol no way I'm doing this....OK I did..a little*

Sure, technically, I AM the loser, since she actually rejected me as a whole, but since I taking this the positive way *which I'm trying so hard right now* That's just literally means that I have to endure whatever it takes for me to get her. Which also means I'll have crap load of time to readying myself for the worse. Pretty much I just have to try again next time. I AM A GUY. AND THERE'S NO FREAKING WAY THIS IS GOING TO BE A SMOOTH SAILING FOR ME. 

Rest assured Orange. I did win that bet. And next time. I'm going to be the one that's prevailed. Heheh baby, you won't be able to see this one coming that easily. I find my own way. JUST YOU WAIT.

*Okay, it is just me, or does that sound a tad bit creepy that what it intended to mean..? t-.-t*

Excuse moire', I'm heading out.